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Being a couple
Being a couple is more than just being friends, more than simply having a sexual
relationship. When we become a couple, we create something more than just two
people. This union is powerful and important, as shown by the commitment and
desire to be a couple and the pain caused if it fails or breaks down.
When we become a couple and fall in love, we invest part of ourselves in a new
shared identity, which provides us with intimacy and safety. Although we might not
notice; it also becomes our greatest challenge.
As a couple we create a container which holds all our hopes, fears and desires.
When a relationship works, it leads to an immensely fulfilling life. However, as many of
us find out, it is not always like that. We may realize that the friendship is not what we
expected. Our chosen partner is not quite the person we imagined them to be. The
container of our couple starts to feel less secure.
Many people are able to adjust to life changes and reshape the relationship, but in
some cases, change feels as if the container is breaking up, the foundations are
cracking. Disappointment, anger, and fear begin to replace the initial hopes. It is at
this point that help is required.
Getting the help you need
The sooner issues are addressed, the easier they are to work out. Sometimes,
professional psychotherapy is all that is needed, providing a space for the couple to
think and to explore their situation.
Psychotherapy can offer the opportunity to understand the deeper, more unconscious
blockages and patterns in a relationship. This frequently links to our earliest and most
powerful emotional experiences. Through mutual understanding, a couple often finds
new strategies for enjoying their relationship.
What happens in therapy?
Talking to a psychotherapist about one's most private and intimate relationship is a
brave thing to do. Seeking professional help is a big step toward dealing with these
issues, and it takes courage.
Through experience we know that difficulties between couples are very rarely due to
just one person. We are complex individuals with all sorts of fears, hopes, fantasies,
and needs. A psychotherapist provides a place where these issues can be explored
and expressed without the world coming to an end. Counseling is a place in which
anything can be said, but these words need not lead to action until a strategy
becomes clear.
We all realize that difficulties cluster around major events; for instance, trading the
single life for coupledom, having a baby, financial difficulties, sexual differences,
career changes, lifestyle changes, or retirement. Therapists understand the diverse
feelings that exist in these situations. We help the couple make sense of those
experiences.
As a couples therapist, I offer a space in which difficult feelings can be explored
between the couple without judgment or blame. My role is to provide a safe and
informed place in which a couple can become clear about what is happening
between them, allowing them to make healthy choices. Therefore, couples can move
on and make decisions with greater clarity and understanding.
Through my professional experience, I help couples more truthfully know themselves
and each other. This leads to a better understanding of how their inner selves are
affecting their day-to-day, outer lives.
Counseling is not an easy process at times. There is much on the line for couples,
families, and individuals who are facing such difficulties. The journey may be hard, but
the rewards are great. An initial consultation will enable you to discover whether
psychotherapy will be a way forward for you.
Being a couple is more than just being friends, more than simply having a sexual
relationship. When we become a couple, we create something more than just two
people. This union is powerful and important, as shown by the commitment and
desire to be a couple and the pain caused if it fails or breaks down.
When we become a couple and fall in love, we invest part of ourselves in a new
shared identity, which provides us with intimacy and safety. Although we might not
notice; it also becomes our greatest challenge.
As a couple we create a container which holds all our hopes, fears and desires.
When a relationship works, it leads to an immensely fulfilling life. However, as many of
us find out, it is not always like that. We may realize that the friendship is not what we
expected. Our chosen partner is not quite the person we imagined them to be. The
container of our couple starts to feel less secure.
Many people are able to adjust to life changes and reshape the relationship, but in
some cases, change feels as if the container is breaking up, the foundations are
cracking. Disappointment, anger, and fear begin to replace the initial hopes. It is at
this point that help is required.
Getting the help you need
The sooner issues are addressed, the easier they are to work out. Sometimes,
professional psychotherapy is all that is needed, providing a space for the couple to
think and to explore their situation.
Psychotherapy can offer the opportunity to understand the deeper, more unconscious
blockages and patterns in a relationship. This frequently links to our earliest and most
powerful emotional experiences. Through mutual understanding, a couple often finds
new strategies for enjoying their relationship.
What happens in therapy?
Talking to a psychotherapist about one's most private and intimate relationship is a
brave thing to do. Seeking professional help is a big step toward dealing with these
issues, and it takes courage.
Through experience we know that difficulties between couples are very rarely due to
just one person. We are complex individuals with all sorts of fears, hopes, fantasies,
and needs. A psychotherapist provides a place where these issues can be explored
and expressed without the world coming to an end. Counseling is a place in which
anything can be said, but these words need not lead to action until a strategy
becomes clear.
We all realize that difficulties cluster around major events; for instance, trading the
single life for coupledom, having a baby, financial difficulties, sexual differences,
career changes, lifestyle changes, or retirement. Therapists understand the diverse
feelings that exist in these situations. We help the couple make sense of those
experiences.
As a couples therapist, I offer a space in which difficult feelings can be explored
between the couple without judgment or blame. My role is to provide a safe and
informed place in which a couple can become clear about what is happening
between them, allowing them to make healthy choices. Therefore, couples can move
on and make decisions with greater clarity and understanding.
Through my professional experience, I help couples more truthfully know themselves
and each other. This leads to a better understanding of how their inner selves are
affecting their day-to-day, outer lives.
Counseling is not an easy process at times. There is much on the line for couples,
families, and individuals who are facing such difficulties. The journey may be hard, but
the rewards are great. An initial consultation will enable you to discover whether
psychotherapy will be a way forward for you.
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